Resentment – Snares in the Deep, part 1

Karen Ball and Erin Taylor Young Write from the Deep Podcast, Resentment

44 – Resentment – Snares in the Deep, part 1

Being in the deep is bad enough, but what can you do when you find you’re trapped there? Caught by one of the strategic snares the enemy has planted? That’s exactly what we’re here to talk about. Join us as we discuss ways to avoid the snare of resentment. Or, if you’ve been caught in it, ways to escape. You’re not alone!

 

Show notes

In our last episode, we talked with award-winning author Alton Gansky about traveling in the deep. He had some wonderful insights for us, but it also made us think. Because we walk this fine line where we don’t want to strive to get out of the deep, we need patient endurance, but there should ultimately be a sense of movement in God’s time. Of progression, learning, and growing. It’s a journey. The trouble is, when we’re journeying in the deep, there are snares. And one of the most dangerous snares is resentment.

 

The Fruit of Resentment

Rebellion, willful disobedience, arrogance: These all lead to separation from God.

Which leads to: Physical consequences, broken relationships, loss of perspective.

And all that provides: A foothold for the enemy’s lies.

 

What Do We Resent?

That we’re in this deep place at all. We don’t deserve it.

But what does Scripture say we deserve?

  • “The Lord looks down from heaven on all mankind to see if there are any who understand, any who seek God. All have turned away, all have become corrupt; there is no one who does good, not even one.” Psalm 14:2-3
  • “Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me.” Psalm 51:5
  • “But because of your stubbornness and your unrepentant heart, you are storing up wrath against yourself for the day of God’s wrath, when his righteous judgment will be revealed. God ‘will repay each person according to what they have done.’” Romans 2:5-6
  • “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 6:23
  • It’s only by the GIFT of God that we can have forgiveness. We don’t—we can’t—earn it, and we don’t deserve it.

 

We Resent Being Punished

But Scripture tells us refinement isn’t punishment. It comes out of God’s love for us.

But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.

  • “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” Hebrews 12:11
  • “My child, don’t reject the Lord’s discipline, and don’t be upset when he corrects you. For the Lord corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights. Joyful is the person who finds wisdom, the one who gains understanding. For wisdom is more profitable than silver, and her wages are better than gold.” Proverbs 3:11-14
  • There is gain in correction. Whatever the reason we’re in this deep place, it will be ultimately used for our good and God’s glory. Even Jesus suffered.
  • “God, for whom and through whom everything was made, chose to bring many children into glory. And it was only right that He should make Jesus, through His suffering, a perfect leader, fit to bring them into their salvation.” Hebrews 2:10

 

We Resent Those Who Don’t Appear to Suffer Like We Do.

I’m way better than ______, and I don’t see him/her suffering like this.

  • The truth is that we don’t know what’s happening in another person’s life. Look at what Scripture says about focusing on self and our own faith, not looking at what God is doing with others.
  • “Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, for each one should carry their own load.” Galatians 6:4-5

 

We Resent the Feeling of Constant Affliction

We resent that we have to go through yet another struggle. “Haven’t I been through enough?”

  • The apostle Paul had constant afflictions, including getting flogged not once, not twice, but 5 times.
  • On top of that, he says,  “…I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:7-9
  • Paul turned his afflictions around—into a chance to bring glory to Christ.

 

We Resent that God Didn’t Save Us From it When He Saved Others

We ask ourselves, “Doesn’t He love me as much as He loves them?”

  • That’s comparing again. It’s taking our eyes off of God and His love for us.
  • “For great is Your love toward me; You have delivered me from the depths, from the realm of the dead.” Psalm 86:13

 

How to Avoid the Snare of Resentment

  1. Keep your perspective grounded in God’s truth. Not “Why me?” but “Why not me?” Jesus is our suffering Savior and He tells us we’ll suffer as well.
  2. Seek counsel. When the feelings hit, ask for prayer and counsel from those you know well and trust.
  3. Be aware of, and keep a check on, your expectations. “Not my will, but Yours.”
  4. Cultivate a spirit of gratitude, even in the deep. If you struggle with this, check out episode 22, “Count it all Joy.”

 

How to Escape the Snare of Resentment When You’ve Been Caught in It:

  1. Acknowledge it. It’s a feeling, nothing more. It’s not truth, it’s not reality. It’s how you feel, and that’s okay.
  2. Understand it. Ask God to show you the core of your resentment. The “why” of your feelings. Dig deep. Write it down. Be brave for this. We all have an ugly human side—that’s why we need Jesus. Don’t let this make you feel worse about yourself.
  3. Ask God to show you how to deal with that/those core(s). He wants to! He wants your restoration. Seek His forgiveness. Seek His truth. Seek His light. But if we confess our sins to Him, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9
  4. Ask forgiveness from anyone you’ve harmed because of your resentment.
  5. Leave it with God, and move forward. Make a new game plan.

 

Conclusion

Being in the deep will happen for all of us at some point. The enemy knows that far better than we do. And he knows exactly how to set snares to entangle us. To keep us trapped and blind so that we can’t move forward or see what God has for us there. One of his most effective snares is the poison of resentment. But God is aware of the enemy’s plans and traps, and He’s already given us the key to avoiding those snares. And God knows there will be times we end up entangled, and He’s given us the way to escape. All we need to do is lean into Him, and let Him set us free.

 

We want to hear from you!

What helps you avoid and escape resentment?

 

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